I’m going to take a moment to breathe, clear my head, and write this blog post in the most calm and mature way possible.
I am sick and tired of being controlled. I am sick and tired of being the “yes ma’am” type of girl. I am sick and tired of bottling up my emotions just to go home at the end of the day and sob them into a bowl of ramen. (no joke, I do that)
I’m sick and tired of letting people control my emotions. For years, I’ve let people turn me into a puddle of emotion, sulking around, hating myself and everything else.
This is about me doing what is best for me. I’m going to make the music I want to make. I’m going to create the art I want to create. I’m going to look the way I want to look. If I wanna curse like a sailor, then you’re damn right, I’m going to. I am finished with worrying about other people and their opinions of me. I am tired of trying to stay afloat by playing by the impossible rules and unreachable standards that have been set for me.
I will no longer be the bird in the cage. I refuse to see the world as a jar and the sky as the lid. As cheesy and bullshitty you may find this to be, it’s the truth. Do not sell yourself short. Wake up. Take a moment to think about what the people in your life are doing to you. Are you happy, or just content? Are you fulfilled, or just good enough?
I refuse to settle for anything short of wonderful, because life is just too short. Why be miserable for so long because of unpredictable promises for the future?
Sometimes I fall into this deep, dark place. I think about how there’s more bad than good, and I worry about my future. It kills all motivation and hope I have for the future. The only thing that seems to keep me going is looking at artists who inspire me. They keep me going and of course all the love I receive from my own music. Even a simple ‘like’ on a video means the world to me, because it is verification that I am not alone. That’s usually what I feel. I feel alone.
I know that the bad times will be made up with the good times that are yet to come.
I know what it’s like to feel hopeless and I know what it’s like to tell yourself to try again tomorrow, even if you’ve been saying that for the past five years. Please surround yourself with positivity and love. I have learned that toxic environments will slowly eat away at everything that you’ve built yourself up to be.
Don’t stay in the cage. Go live the dream.
See you again,