I recently began writing a song called “At the End of the Day” and the very first line says “At the end of the day I’m still unhappy.”
You see, the crappy thing about life is that with the highs come the lows, and sometimes I think I just get stuck down there in the lows, and I can’t seem to pull myself out.
So I’m gonna be honest, I’ve felt pretty low for awhile. I’m not saying this so you’ll feel sorry for me or listen to more of my music or some crap like that. No, I’m saying it because it’s true and you can’t just continuously tell yourself you’re okay. On the other hand, you can’t constantly tell yourself you’re not okay, either.
I wake up every morning and wish I was somewhere else, knowing that some day I’m gonna wish I was waking up right where I am right now. It’s a vicious and frustrating cycle. I get up and give myself a pep talk that usually consists of “get over it, you’re fine.” This is because I know I am fine. I have food, water, a home, a bed, and a good life. I truly do. So what’s the problem?
I am restless. I want out of this town, out of this state, out of here. I want to see the world and I want to experience everything life has to offer. My greatest fear is that I’ll sell myself short of a beautiful life and everyday I wake up in the same place I’ve been for the past twenty-one years and it burns me. I’ve tasted the life of a traveler and I’ve seen beautiful things, but I only want more.
Waiting is such a frustrating thing and most of the time it seems to be all that I’m doing. Waiting for my life to start, waiting to get out of here, waiting for my food to cook, my workout to be done, my internet to load the stupid dog video I want to watch. How much of my life have I wasted away just waiting? Too much.
That’s why I made a facebook page. That’s why I’m working my butt off uploading videos and music every week, because I am praying that someday it will all pay off. And even if it doesn’t, at least I can say I tried, and that I still did it for me, in spite of it all.
If you wake up every day waiting for your life to start, or waiting to get out of here, take a look in the mirror and give yourself a serious talk. I know why I’m unhappy and I’m trying to change it everyday. I am slowly, but surely pulling myself out of the lows. I know I’ll be back and I know I’ll have to climb out again, but that’s what you have to do. Life is going to continuously push you down, but you’ve gotta get back up.
You only get one life…don’t wish it away. Make something out of it.
Here’s a raw recording of “At the End of the Day”. It’s still a work in progress, kinda like me.
See you again,